Friday, July 06, 2012

Don't Second Guess

The instant all six pounds of me slid into the world of the living, expectations were placed on my baby shoulders.  My Creator assigned me to serve as daughter, sister, granddaughter, niece and cousin right off the bat.  As I grew, the roles of friend, classmate, wife, daughter-in-law, sister-in-law, aunt,  great-aunt, employee, co-worker and neighbor were added.

When one thinks of the various roles we play in a lifetime, isn't it remarkable that we do them as well as we do?  It's so easy for me to second guess myself.....did I do the right thing.....should I have done something else instead.  Often was the time I was my own worst enemy, piling on pointless worries and concerns.  We magnify our worth to the point that we imagine ourselves to be the almighty peacemaker and healer of all hurts.  We self appoint ourselves as mini gods.

Well, like most things, we have to get in our sixties to realize how silly we are. Everybody is responsible for paddling their own canoe, and if they tip over, well, then they'll learn how better to paddle the next time.  Not only that, but the times we tipped our canoe and fell in the water.....we ended up having a blast.   The more we do for others, the less they will do for themselves; and, chances are they will miss out on some unexpected fun.  There's a point where we can over-protect.

This business of second-guessing ourselves is wearing.  It's so easy to mentally rehash situations, but we can't do that with any degree of accuracy.  Every time, place, and moment has its immediate elements that can't ever be reconstructed. Therefore, we can never rehash our actions to be the same as they were.  We do what we feel is right at the time.

This poem is for the back pocket......for those times we get bogged down and second guess ourselves......

"I'm only me.
That is all I can be.
No more, no less,
Don't second guess.
I love, I live, I cry.
Some days I'm funny,
Others I'm not.
Sometimes I'm in overdrive
And I can't stop.
You may not like me
But that's okay.
Because this is me
And how I'll stay."


Leaving Shore