Saturday, October 30, 2010

Going Tubeless

Looks like there's gonna be a change in toilet paper.  Yup, the tubeless stuff is going on the market at Walmart and Sam's Club stores throughout the Northeast, and if the sales take off, then they will introduce it all over the country and around the world.  So, if you're using the cardboard rolls for crafting purposes, you'd best start stashing cuz they may soon be things of the past.  This will be the biggest change in toilet paper in the last 100 years.  It's kinda interesting that Scott would take the lead over Charmin, isn't it? 

Kimberly-Clark (producer of Scott) estimates that the 17 billion toilet paper tubes produced in one year in the U.S. would stretch more than a million miles placed end-to-end.  That's from here to the moon and back--twice.  Just think of that.  Also, those 17 billion tubes are to blame for 160 million pounds of trash.   

There are pesky aspects to toilet paper, as we know, one of which is the last square that's always glued onto the roll.  Just imagine, tho, what our grandparents would have to say if they heard us complaining about that.  Didn't they use the Sears catalog for their personal cleanliness?

I've read that the Romans used a stick with a sponge on one end to clean themselves and, in a communal toilet, when finished with their business, they would pass it to the next guy in line.  If the next guy happened to grab the wrong end he was said to have "gotten the wrong end of the stick."

The other day while my husband and I were shopping for household necessities, he pointed my attention to Cottonelle Kids toilet paper.  What?  My jaw dropped when I saw the price, and the first thing that came to mind was, "what the hell will they come up with next."

Young parents love this stuff because it helps them teach their children how many squares to use.  According to the directions, the kiddies follow puppy paw prints to a puppy, which is the right amount, about five squares.

We pluggers better get used to a flood of this kind of change that seems so unbelievably ridiculous to us, especially when our economy is in a recession and we watch young families struggle to make ends meet.  But, I guess if the new generation wants to buy into these "merchandising ploys" in order to potty train their kids, well, that's their prerogative.  My questions are:  1)  at what age do the children get switched over to t.p. without the puppy paws?  2) are there two dispensers on the wall?  3)  or, is the whole family following puppy tracks?

I'm sure by now, my sarcasm is blatant.  But, that's one of the magnificent parts of aging.  We frankly get to where we are more vocal about what we think.  The world as we knew it is leaving, and in many ways is already gone.  It's like we've moved to a different country and every body's speaking a language that's completely foreign to us.  We, by nature of the beast, get resentful.  But, I guess I'd better practice what I've always preached and look on the positive side.  In order for me to do this, I shall look forward with high anticipation to the day that I'll be a little old feeble lady with a 'greatly challenged' memory, and my caretakers will supply me with rolls and rolls of puppy tracks toilet paper.  Proof positive that we all end up right where we started!