Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Bein' Silly

Today I'm being silly, thinking about stuff we all think and wonder about.  None of it makes any sense or difference, yet it's just fun to once in awhile sit down and wonder about things. 
  • If we Americans feed our babies with tiny spoons and forks, do Chinese mothers feed their babies with toothpicks?
  • Shouldn't we be concerned that the person who invests all of our money is called a 'broker?'
  • Why don't they put parachutes under plane seats instead of flotation devices?
  • Why is it that when you transport something by car, it's called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship, it's called cargo?
  • Why do the words 'loosen' and 'unloosen' mean the same thing?
  • If you have 50 odds and ends on a shelf, and you break 49 of them, are you left with an odd or an end?
  • Why didn't Tarzan have a beard?
  • Why are boxing rings square?
  • Why do 'fat chance' and 'slim chance' mean the same thing?
  • Why is it that when lights are out, they are invisible.  But, when the stars are out, they are visible?
  • If 'poli' means 'many'.....and 'tics' are 'blood-sucking creatures,'.......then what does 'poli-tics' really mean?
  • Why do we recite at a play, and play at a recital?
  • Why, at sporting events, do we sit in stands?
  • Why is it that, when two planes almost collide, we call it a near miss?  Shouldn't it be a near hit?
  • If our country promises free speech, why do we have phone bills?
  • If you mixed vodka, orange juice and milk of magnesia, would you end up with a Phillips Screwdriver?
  • When it's dark out, why do we say it's 'after dark?'  Isn't it 'after light?'
  • Doesn't 'expecting the unexpected' make the unexpected expected?
  • Why is it good to be 'under par' in golf, but is bad to be 'under par' in anything else?
  • If every thing's possible, then is it possible that nothing is possible?
  • What's the opposite of "out of whack?"  In whack?  What is whack?
  • Do Australians call the rest of the world "up over?"
  • Why does Hawaiian pizza also contain Canadian Bacon?
  • Why are there no grapes and no nuts in Grape Nuts?
And, just for the heck of it, next time you hear someone say, "Now I've seen everything!".......ask them if they've ever seen a UPS truck parked in a parking space.............

Ta-ta for today.